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DARKER THAN YOU THINK


Diamond 
July 25, 2016



This story is dedicated to my fellow models and all the other artists working in our alternative fashion wold. It might not be so interesting to others, but as it is a story everyone of us knows too well, I might be wrong.
This is a long story, longer than you are used to get from me, but bare with me to the end, it is worth it

I get a lot of comments and questions about why I'm so "negative" all the time, and many people seem to think that I am overreacting when I talk about what is happening behind the goth fluff and pretty faces. This story will show you how much I am actually sugarcoating everything. The truth is darker than you think. So, without further introduction, let me start.

Every model in our industry starts alone, more or less. There are no big name agencies or managers, talent hunters to spot and discover us. Those agencies that do exist, are made mostly on a friendly basis to help us find more work and support us in promotion, and very often they don't even do that. Mostly it comes down to just having their name or brand behind you, which might help you to some extent. But at the and of the day, you have to do everything by yourself- promote your page, IG and website, ask for support and return favors, socialize with everyone and anyone online, make connections, discover potential business partners and sponsors, send thousands of emails, handle thousands of crisis situations, manage all the competition and stress, and still find time to do what you actually do- arrange photo shoots and be a model.
Every model will tell you that the hardest part of all of this, is finding people , big names and brands, shops and designers who will put their trust in you and choose you to represent them, out of so so many other models. It is a daily struggle. I know many who have given up because of this.
Naturally, in all that chaos, everyone tries to fight for themselves, to find their own path and unique features and style that will set them apart. So there we are, the models, chasing the brands, or brands chasing us, and on the other side of this story are the promoters, equally important to all of us. Big pages and websites, big names in magazine and advertising industry, who we need to show our work. You can have the best photo in this whole damn world, but if you can't promote it properly, nobody will know that, and vice versa.
And the promoters know this, they know we need them so bad, and naturally, they set the rules. They get to choose who will be their cover girl, their most represented model, and who will get the most benefits from their influence online. They can make you or break you, and very often they are very impolite.
It is exactly in those dark waters full of arrogant and impatient "influential" people that I found a gem, a true angel. This person is a beacon of kindness and support and she helped so many of us not to get lost or drown when we stepped into deeper waves. Asking absolutely nothing in return, she helped me find more work, get in touch with big brands, find good people to work with. She put her years and years long and hard earned reputation on the line for me, and most importantly, she believed in me, day in day out. And I know so many others that she did the same thing for. And she has been doing this long before my time and she will be doing it as long as she believes we need her. And we will always need someone like her. Since I started my modeling career, I can say, without any exaggeration, that she is the only person who does so many things for others without any personal benefit from it. It comes from a pure heart and something that is such a rare thing to find- a true wish to help others and see them grow and succeed. No hidden intentions, no hidden motives or payback, not a single emotion but selflessness. I hope you got the picture what kind of amazing person I am talking about. And she has a small team of great people around her, who help her make all of this happen.
Recently, I have witnessed and heard about truly bad things that have been done to her and said about her. All done by people who took advantage of her kindness and built their careers with so much of her help and connections. They have tried to break her down because they know how much they owe her, and that they didn't make it all by themselves, which is something they want the world to believe. Pretty girls and kind goth princesses joined together in an shameful attempt to destroy something other people have worked so hard for. I have said this so many times, people in this industry can be horrible and will stop at nothing just to destroy competition and feed their envious hearts. The saddest thing is that they get their way. Very few people do their homework and run a check up on someone. A model can tell lies and people just take it as the truth. Because, well, she is sooo pretty and cute and looks good in photos. And believe me, these are not merely gossips or made up stories, I am talking about serious tactics and actions taken to destroy somebody's business and business reputation, lose contacts and break connections, steal ideas and take credits.
So, this is my plea, my well intentioned advice and message for shops and brands, please make sure you know the person behind the model , behind this imaginary character, before you decide to support them. Because one day, when you are no longer needed, the lies and harmful actions might come your way. We are all on the same side, we all want to work in peace and prosper in our business. These people are making our world a messy place and they are enjoying and taking advantage of our confusion while we try to untangle all their webs. Nobody likes to pick sides, but the truth is there are no sides. It comes down to just doing the right thing for all of us.
And for those who hurt and betrayed these good people, I have a message too- your true colors will show in time, you can't run away from who you are. There are so many of us that know the truth, and know who was there for them , and against all your ugliness and darkness, we will shine brighter than the Sun. And Karma will do her thing. Until that happens, I am out to get you
Sincerely
Kali
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Aion
ton van der sluijs ,
Interesting story Ksenija. I do recognize a lot ... In my business (machining) people can make you, our try to break you...People tell lies behind your back and when I started in the beginning, they tried to take advantage..... Thank you for sharing your thoughts...I do read them always wit great interest. sincerly yours; Ton
10 years ago
Aion
MrsWee ,
Weird how some people have the nerve to do really appalling things....
10 years ago
Aion
ton van der sluijs ,
Very interesting to read Kali. You show actually , how the world is, how people are... I luv your intelligent stories and read them with greatest interest. my respectfull regards to you. Ton
10 years ago
Aion
Silky ,
Well, first, nice to meet you Kali :D I always talk about you and like your photos but never comment before! I just want to say that I agree so much with you! You are right! And she is indeed a very strong and loyal person. The best one! We're in this together
10 years ago
Aion
LordSmoke ,
Where I live, there are 11 goths in a whole country and we all hate each other :D
10 years ago
Aion
Lollygag ,
In the States is even more drama, one wrong smile in the club or misunderstood Tweet can cost you thousands of followers, promotion deals and sponsorship lines.... A girl can't even sit on a toilet without offending someone....
10 years ago
Aion
Porceleine ,
Why won't everybody just get along *cries
10 years ago
Aion
Wroom ,
In my opinion: The greater the betrayal the smaller the interest that motivated it...
10 years ago
Aion
PixieMushroom ,
Remind me never to end up on your bad side, you are ruthless :D Some people are just bad apples, pretty on the outside, worm on the inside :)
10 years ago
Aion
OtherMother ,
I was just shocked by reading this! I always had this romanticized notion hat goths support each other... I know who you are talking about, we are from a same country and she is a lovely lady indeed! Hang on!
10 years ago
Aion
Demons ,
I can understand cutthroat policies and looking out for your own ass in a dog eat dog world like modeling. I'd never support it but I can understand it.. What I'll never understand are those people who fuck you over not for any real personal gain but just to spite you and make you suffer. I mean can people really be so petty?! Sadly I know the answer is yes :(
10 years ago
Aion
Immortalbae ,
Kali the Karma :D So much drama and people are shit in every subculture and mainstream... We just need to make sure shit is where it belongs :D
10 years ago
Aion
FuriosAna ,
That is it! I'm giving up on my dream to model! I have no energy to spend on dealing with mean girls and drama, I left that in High School.... I will do my designs, and have my grandma model them if that means piece of mind... Seriously!
10 years ago
Aion
diamond ,
Yes, Goth fashion industry is getting huge and that's why we're getting so many "mainstream fashion" symptoms. I belueved it was way different before I started. But I just love modeling so much that I won't ever let it go. I just have to speak up, and speak for something I believe in. And that is exactly that our world should be more unified and peaceful.
10 years ago
Aion
JureP ,
huh...I always thought that alternative scene is more connected.....like no big model agencies,just some who have their models and take care of them...i guess i was mistaken and it's also like "mainstream" scene... damn :(
10 years ago
Aion
Duches ,
This sounds more and more like regular model world... And that is tres sad... :(
10 years ago
Aion
Feline ,
Oh, wow, now I'm interested in WTF happened? :D I went trough tough times with some "friends" in my day, and that is never pleasant. Luckily I never experienced that at work,,,
10 years ago
Aion
Gaelira Gwealon ,
This is the most powerful text you have written so far! And I am happy to recognize all those pretentious "lovely" girls, who will stab you in a back as soon as they get all that they can, so I am beside you in this battle, cause it's time for this world to know which ones are good girls and witch ones are fake bitches! I am really sick of all of it and I believe that Karma will come to charge for their actions.
10 years ago
Aion
Sil ,
unfortunately what you talk about is true so many people wear masks and use people while they need them and then one day the mask falls and i know so many of the beautiful faces out there are in fact ugly inside full of greed and envy but i do rest at peace because i Believe in Karma and one it may take time but one day masks fall no one can lie and hide forever .... saying this i can know that there are many many true drama free and beautiful people out there , people like you that what you see is what you get and no sugar talk :D we all need to support the true beauty the beauty from within and a lot of people have it
10 years ago
Aion
Jazzy ,
I know the angel you are talking about (well we all do) and I love that girl to bits! I saw that she posted something really sad a couple of days back, but I don't want to stick my nose into anybody's business uninvited. Just tell her that I root for her, no matter what. She helped out so many people, so many brands, models.... Why on earth would anyone go after such a great person is beyond me....
10 years ago
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