Before I say anything else, let's get one thing clear- I am not a professional goth model. It is not my main source of income and I do it as a hobby which I love and enjoy very very much. This doesn't mean that I am any less serious and devoted to my work. It just means I never try to be a fashion industry clown, but prefer to stay true to myself and feel natural and comfortable.
BUT, if you do want to look super-high-gothic-fashion-very-professional-much model-like, these are some basic rules
1. DO NOT SMILE. EVER.
First rule- looking like an alive human being having fun is an absolute no-no. Your expression must constantly be in a very serious, resting bitch face mode. If you can pull off to look angry or as if you were just about to kill somebody, that is a bonus! You are a dark evil vampire queen after all, right? Goth people never smile, or enjoy. We hate everything and worship the evil forces of the universe in our free time.
2. USE SUPER FANCY WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE SIMPLEST OF THINGS
So. you made a couple of photos for a magazine, or they took the ones you already had and published them, yeeeey for you! But, when sharing this happy news with your fans, don't forget to say you just did "A high fashion exclusive super HQ editorial for the upcoming issue of a prestigious international magazine". It does sound more professional, doesn't it?
Still the same photos, though, and the same you. Are you ashamed of your work and you try to pump it with fancy captions? 3. STRIKE THAT POSE
Maybe the most important rule so far. There is no better way to look super professional than standing in the most bizarre poses. The more uncomfortable you feel, better the pose! So, bend your back, push your shoulders forward, hide your bust, bend those knees, pull in your stomach as much as you can, elongate your neck until you look like a human giraffe, and voila! You are a perfect high fashion model!
4. EMBRACE ALL THE GOTH CLICHES
You are a goth, so you must : hate the sunlight, always be super pale, love bats and crows, every day is Halloween, there is a place for you in Hell and it is called a throne, you are a witch, a vampire, and you eat the souls of innocent children for breakfast, instead of cereal. Don't forget spiders and skulls!
5. NEVER TALK OR WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE THAN HOW SUPER PROFESSIONAL AND GOTH YOU ARE
So, you have a blog, or you are giving an interview, or writing an article. What to say, which subject to use? Well, modelling and being goth, of course! You are never concerned about what is going on in the world, or about any social phenomenon, you don't have an opinion on anything but which skirt to wear with which shoes and what lipstick suits your face shape the best. You have to give advice to everyone else so one day they can become as professional and goth as you fabulously are! Make sure to emphasize how difficult it is to be a model, and how much hard work and practice it requires. Surgeons and lawyers have it easy comparing to that!
So, these are some basic guidelines , but the list doesn't end here. I just don't know all the rules, because you see, I do not follow any of them. If I had to give an aspiring model a piece of advice, it would be to have fun and enjoy, be natural and don't obsess about silly trends like these
