I'm sure most of the people out there think that models must have a serious narcissistic personality disorder.
I mean, we make thousands of photos of ourselves, we pose all the time, and we constantly enjoy all the attention and flattering from our fans. We must be so in love with our own image, and by modeling we only feed our ego and our already huge confidence. I can't say for all the models in the alternative scene, but for me it is far from that. It is something way more deep and important.
I am a woman, and like any other woman I have a lot of insecurities and I am very self conscious about my imperfections. Believe me, it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there in public, open for anyone and everyone to comment on your look, to judge you or express their opinion about you, based only on those photos. Of course, there is a lot of positive energy and love that comes from there, too. But that is not the point. I mean, how many photos of myself do I need before I get bored? Is it really going to change my life and self-image for the better? If I don't feel pretty, a thousand people saying I am is not going to change that. And I refuse to believe any of us models is that shallow.
Goth subculture has always been frowned upon. We have been and still are labeled as creepy, immature, eccentric, over the top and inappropriate. Our style is not accepted in most work environments, we get funny looks and fingers pointed at us in the street, on buses and trains, in shops and restaurants.
Luckily, this world is becoming more tolerant and open minded, but we still have a long way to go.
So, this is why I do this. You might think that posting photos as a way of fighting for Goths to be more accepted is silly, but when you understand how today's world works and lives online and on social media, it is not that silly at all. Every important message is conveyed via photos and short videos, and people pay a lot of attention to that. They are more likely to accept something if it comes in a nice package. And I believe our culture has so much beauty to show and offer, and that artist are the best representatives of that beauty. Not only models, but bands, writers, photographers, painters, designers, and everyone else who finds inspiration in the dark side of beauty. Think about it like this- if someone keeps seeing girls with heavy makeup and dressed all in black, covered in lace and unusual details in their news feed or google results, it is more likely that that person will be less surprised to see a girl like that sitting next to them on a plane or in a theater.
So yes, this is my way of showing that Goth world is creative, vibrant, and beautiful, and that we are far away from the graveyard/vampire/creepy/satanist stereotype. And that NO-it is not just a phase which we grow out after our teenage rebel years. It is a whole world of art and fashion, of free self expression and without borders and limitations of today's modern sterile mainstream standards.
Every photo I put up for the world to see is one more piece of evidence that we are no longer a marginalized group of the global society, that we are here and we will not change, and of course, that we come in peace. Because we fight the prejudices and hate with beauty and creativity, and hard work.